Everyone Is Shocked That Someone Married Me: Here Are Ten Reasons Why I’m More Surprised Than You Are
“I’m an airplane, brrrrrrr, I’m an airplane, brrrrr! I want to be a pigeon so I can shit on people!”-I don’t remember this but apparently it happened after a little too much mojito last week.
F: Misty, WHY CAN YOU NOT ANSWER YOUR PHONE!? WHY!?
ME: I was doing stuff.
F: What kind of stuff!?
ME: Not dying. You’re welcome.
F: Thank you? Wait. NO! Answer your fucking phone when I call!
While dancing romantically in the kitchen:
ME: What would you do if we were dancing then suddenly I looked up and I had a zombie face?
ME: And I started eating your face.
F: What!? Why!?
ME: Because I would be a zombie. Jesus. It’s like talking to a wall! I don’t even know why I try anymore!
F: Shakes head, walks away.
F: This is nice. I like…
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